i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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