gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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