69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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