I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize