I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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