lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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