I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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