I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
