Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize