Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
