if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
