Where are you?
In a non slutty way
oh god the rape fog is back!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
