All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
