We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
