Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
