she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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