They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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