you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
