it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
