marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize