Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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