I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
