called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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