i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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