Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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