next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
