Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
