Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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