me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just pee around me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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