she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
