that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
