I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
