does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
