oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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