Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
