They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
