I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
