I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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