Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
