why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
