They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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