ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
