watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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