I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
