Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize