his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
