Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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