nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
smell my finger.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
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