what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
