If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
