That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
