This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
