don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
