one two three fourrrrnication!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
