You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize