She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize