I think I am morally bankrupt
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
