She just used a chaser for red wine.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
