I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
