...so i touched it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
