I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
