So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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