Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
