Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
