Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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