yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
