she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
